Fed is best? My baby, my choice. Why we should focus on empowering other women not bring them down.

It’s my choice!

Yep I’m weighing in on the “fed is best” vs “breast is best” debate.

This has been sparked by a recent campaign by Dove which has been criticized for supporting those who oppose breastfeeding in public.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-40478372

How are we still having these conversations? 

I mean it’s not like there is anything bigger going on in the world right now.

I don’t understand how people can dedicate so much of their time and effort to throw around opinions on how others choose to feed their baby.

When I was pregnant my attitude to breastfeeding was if I could I would and if I couldn’t I wouldn’t.

For me personally I had a higher risk of relapse in the first few months after Isla’s birth which meant I had to be careful about not overdoing it.  I also had a c-section which limited my mobility.

I already knew I would be heavily dependent on Ash helping out with every aspect of caring for Isla especially at the start so bottle-feeding was always a likely option for us.

After Isla was born I tried to get her to latch on in hospital.  Every single midwife on shift in the post delivery ward came to try and help me.  If I had any shred of dignity left after birth it well and truly went out the window when multiple women were milking me like a cow.

It wasn’t working.

My baby was hungry.

I chose to bottle feed.

Just because I bottle fed doesn’t mean I am against breastfeeding.  AT ALL.

And I’m sure as hell not bothered when a women feeds her child in public.

There are two levels of debate here.  One looking at breast vs bottle feeding and the other about breastfeeding in public.

Ok here is a little food for thought….

If seeing a woman breastfeeding a baby in public offends you…. look away.

You are the one with the issue not them.

 

The fact that people think they have the right to openly comment also BLOWS MY MIND.

I can’t stand when people chew with their mouths open but do you see me kicking off to them while they are enjoying their meal?  I don’t because it’s actually none of my business how they choose to eat.

Like every other parenting decision we have to make there is no pleasing people.  And EVERYONE seems to have an opinion.

Isn’t is best that a baby is loved, protected & cared for?  Why does the milk they are given have anything to do with it?

I didn’t choose to bottle feed Isla because I thought it was better than breastfeeding.  It was my choice because under the circumstances it is what worked best for our family.

People really need to consider that when judging how a baby is fed.  There can be multiple elements that come into play, none of these decisions we make are taken lightly.

If I had breastfed and in turn had a relapse I wouldn’t have been able to care for Isla at all.

I’m lucky my gorgeous NCT mum friends never made me feel judged for bottle-feeding.  There are 7 women in our group and I was the only one who didn’t breastfeed.

I listened to their struggles and their triumphs.  I understand from their experiences that it wasn’t easy.  They all did such an amazing job.

There was part of me that was jealous I couldn’t share that experience and worried that I wasn’t doing the best thing for Isla but I knew that I made a considered decision and I still believe it was the right thing for my little girl.

Without meaning to sound like I’m boasting Isla is doing pretty well for someone that didn’t have the “best start” to life.

It was my choice to have Isla

 

It was my body that carried her for 9 months.

It’s my choice how and what to feed her.

It was my choice to go back to work and send her to nursery.

It’s my choice when to potty train her.

It can be so hard to feel like every decision you make is wrong because you are bombarded with the opinions of other people.

Don’t we question ourselves enough without having pressure put on us by other people?

Can’t we all just try and empower each other a bit more?

Oh and I’m sorry if this offends anyone but if the baby isn’t sucking from YOUR nipples (men) you don’t get an opinion on this one.

So here is my message to all the mothers out there;

Breastfeeding Mothers – What an incredible thing you are doing for your baby.  It must be hard to have un-approving looks and nasty comments thrown your way.  I know that there are so many times you want to give up but keep going mama – you are amazing.  I support you.

Bottle-feeding Mothers – What a brave decision you have made for your baby.  It must be hard to have un-approving looks and nasty comments thrown your way.  I know that there are so many times you question your choice but keep going mama – you are amazing.  I support you.

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